


Unexpected Consequences

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Charlie discovers the truth about Paul. Series 16.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 8





	Unexpected Consequences

Charlie closed his front door and lent back against it with a sigh. What a day it had been! Well, actually his day had gone fairly well, the department had been unusually quiet. That should have tipped him off that something was going to happen. The drama had started after his shift was done. He'd gone round to see Duffy after he'd finished working. He'd been doing that a lot recently. Popping over on some pretext of having been in the area so thought he'd drop by when really he just wanted to make sure she was OK, that she was coping. She'd had a hellish few months, heck, more like a hellish year, and though she gave a good outward appearence of being just fine, he knew her better than that, he knew she was barely holding things together but wouldn't want to ask for help.

Yesterday, however, something had felt different. The thought had been nagging at the back of his mind all day. About an hour from the end of his shift he'd been about to call her to check how she was when Collette had told him that Duffy was on the phone asking for him. She wanted to know if he fancied popping round after work for a catch up. He'd quickly agreed and, on reflection, it seemed he'd been right to go over as he'd barely been at her house half an hour when she'd suddenly gone into labour. He knew that the baby's arrival was early but he couldn't be sure exactly how premature as, frankly, getting anything approaching a straight answer out of his best friend had become increasingly difficult recently.

Charlie sighed. It should have been straightforward, he knew what to do - just check her over, make her as comfortable as possible under the circumstances, call an ambulance and keep an eye on her til it arrived. That's what should have happened. She should have been in hospital as quickly as possible, she hadn't exactly had a textbook pregnancy so the risk of complications with the birth were high. Unfortunately for them both, she hadn't seen it that way. No, she'd decided to be her usual bloody minded self!

Charlie took his jacket off and hung it up. He then sat on the bottom stairs to remove his shoes. He wasn't sure what on earth had possessed her to decide that he should deliver the baby! Her subsequent remark instructing him not to look had utterly confused him at first. How the bloody hell was she expecting him to deliver a baby if he couldn't look at what he was trying to do? It wasn't like he wasn't already well acquainted with that part of her body... He smiled as he glanced over towards the lounge, the open door allowing him to see the sofa. His mind instantly took him back to a night the two of them had spent on that sofa not so long ago, a night involving a large amount of alcohol and sex.

Another thought started to intrude on the pleasant memories that filled his mind. That night had been only a matter of weeks before she'd discovered she was pregnant. He couldn't be entirely certain as to how careful they'd been... He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It did him no good to think like that! Her husband had taken her away for the weekend around the same time, surely it must have happened then. That was a much more likely explanation than the child being the result of one drunken night of lustful misbehaviour. The voice in his head wouldn't leave him alone, however, simply repeating a single phrase over and over - "once is all it takes!"

Charlie rubbed his hands over his face. Sleep. That's what he needed. Duffy was safely in the hospital with a team of medics to keep an eye on her, her newborn son was being monitored in NICU and Charlie had taken the older two boys over to their grandmother's house before coming home. He could finally relax. Well, he could try to anyway. Letting out a big sigh he stood and trudged up the stairs, a yawn escaping him as he climbed.

It felt like he'd only been asleep a matter of minutes when he awoke screaming her name in terror, his entire body drenched in a cold sweat. Fragmented colours and sounds came back to him from the dream - the deep red of her blood against the paleness of her skin, the green of her eyes, the sound of her voice whispering his name in fear and confusion. Only half awake and seized with panic he began to frantically look around the darkened room. He needed to make sure she was OK. It took a few moments for him to realise that it had been just a dream, a horrible dream. He attempted to steady his breathing and looked over at the bedside clock. It was just after 4am. He didn't need to be up for another couple of hours so he knew he should try to get some more sleep. He lay back down but couldn't get comfortable. He sat up again and punched his pillow several times, hoping that would help. He lay down once more and closed his eyes. He tossed and turned as the events of the previous night played over and over in his mind. Anything could have gone wrong, he could so easily have lost her. A pain seized his chest at the thought. All the emotions he'd been holding in finally broke the surface and he sobbed quietly into his pillow.

Charlie slept fitfully for the next half an hour before finally giving up and turning the bedside light on. Rising from his bed he quickly got washed and dressed. He walked outside to his car and drove over to the hospital. He arrived there pretty quickly due to there being very little traffic on the roads so early in the morning. He walked through the main entrance and straight over to the lift. The postnatal ward was on the third floor and NICU was on the fourth. Without thinking he pressed the button to go up to four. As the lift arrived at the correct floor he exited and strode along the corridor, pausing to nod to the staff member stood behind the desk and wash his hands thoroughly.

Charlie quietly entered the darkened NICU ward and made his way over to the incubator in the corner. Peering inside he was once more reminded just how tiny the little boy was. He'd felt so fragile and light to hold as he had been born and the memory of how still and pale he'd been made Charlie's blood run cold. But Charlie knew better than most that looks could be very deceiving. If this little boy took after his mother... Well, the world had better watch out!

Charlie placed his hand against the glass as the child began to wriggle, his little eyes briefly opening. Charlie whispered softly, "Hey, little fella, it's OK. You're probably wondering where your mummy is aren't you? She's asleep downstairs. Well, she better be anyway! I'm going to go see her soon, I'll tell her how well you're doing." The little boy seemed soothed by the sound of Charlie's voice. After giving the baby one final lookover, Charlie smiled. "You and your brothers have the best mummy in the world and I'm going to do everything I can to make things better for her."

It was still early by the time Charlie arrived at the desk in the postnatal ward but the midwife there recognised him and waved him through. He walked halfway down the corridor and then entered Duffy's side room silently. He was pleasantly surprised to find her curled up on her side, fast asleep, her thumb resting against her bottom lip as her hand lay on the pillow. Charlie moved and sat down in the chair that was by the end of her bed. He simply stared into space for a few minutes before something caught his eye. Duffy's medical notes lay in a folder attached to the foot of the bed. He reached a hand out to take them. He knew he shouldn't, they were a confidential document but the nagging thoughts from earlier wouldn't leave his mind. Had their night together resulted in the little boy he'd delivered a matter of hours ago? Was that the real reason why Duffy had refused to go to the hospital, why she'd been so adamant that Charlie was the only one she wanted with her when she gave birth? He sighed and took hold of the document. There was one way to find out. He turned the file over in his hands. He was about to open the first page when a noise from the bed startled him. He quickly stashed the papers back in their holder and looked over at Duffy as she began to stir. He practically jumped from the chair as he saw her attempt to sit up as she surveyed the room looking confused and distressed. He made it to her side just in time to grab hold of her as she became dizzy.

"Woah! You need to slow down. Let's lie you back down." He instructed, pushing gently against her shoulders but she held herself rigid against his touch.

"The baby! The boys! What..?" She stammered, panic filling her tone.

He rubbed her shoulders, attempting to soothe her. "Its OK. If you lie back down I'll explain." She sighed in frustration but did as he asked. "Peter and Jake are with your mum. I took them there after accompanying you here. They're a bit shaken up but they'll be OK. Your baby is up in NICU..." He saw a look of fear flash across her eyes. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't panic, he's alert and breathing on his own. His temperature has been fluctuating but he's doing remarkably well given the circumstances. It seems stubbornness runs deep in your genes!" He ignored the glare she gave him. "How are you feeling? Do you want your pain relief topping up?"

Duffy shook her head. "No, it just makes me spacy. Will you please take me upstairs now?"

"In a bit, you need to eat something and be checked over by the doctor first."

"But there's nothing wrong with me Charlie! I had a baby not a bloody car accident!"

"Oh for goodness sake Duffy, will you just listen to yourself?! You don't have to spend your whole life acting like you're sodding wonder woman. It's OK to admit when you're in pain and struggling. No-one, least of all me, is going to think worse of you for that."

"I. Am. Fine." She spat back. "Save your patronising crap for the patients downstairs. They have no choice but to listen to it. Carry on with it in here though and I'll throw you out!"

Charlie couldn't stop the laugh that escaped at the mental image her words created in his brain. Her eyes instantly lit up with anger and she once more pushed herself up to sitting, grabbing ahold of his sleeve. As she went to push him she let out a hiss of pain, her other hand reflexively clutching her stomach.

Charlie reached out to help her but she pulled away and glared at him. "Its just a muscle twing, it's perfectly normal. Stop fussing!" 

Something finally snapped inside him. "For god sake Duffy, you and the baby could have died last night! Don't give me that attitude!" The anger and frustration he'd been trying to hold in were clear in his voice though refrained from shouting at her.

Duffy rolled her eyes at him. "Don't be so melodramatic Charlie! We were never in any real danger. I called you over to make sure of that. I trusted you and yet you still dragged me here against my wishes."

"I brought you here because you were in no fit state to look after yourself and the boys. You were in a total daze, you barely even acknowledged the baby had been born! I couldn't just leave you."

"I was just tired and needed to sleep. If you were that concerned you could have stayed over to babysit me."

"I'd already performed one resuscitation, I didn't want to have perform any more if things took a turn for the worse..."

"But they didn't Charlie..."

"They easily could have though. The baby could have stopped breathing again. You could have started bleeding out. Then what would have happened? Did you consider that in your insane plans?"

He instantly realised he'd gone too far as she started to cry. He hadn't meant to upset her, he just wanted her to see sense. He reached out to wrap his arms around her shoulders and was surprised when she didn't object, instead allowing him to gently pull her into his embrace. She rested her head on his chest and sobbed as all the emotions she'd tried to keep a lid on recently came pouring out of her. When she finally began to quieten he tilted her chin so she'd look up at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. It's just... The idea that... Well... I could have lost you last night..." His voice cracked.

"I didn't realise that you..."

"What? Cared that much? I thought you knew how much you mean to me." He brushed away her tears with his thumb and gently caressed her cheek. Their faces were mere inches apart and they found themselves drawing closer til their lips met in a tender kiss. Several moments later they parted but before either had a chance to speak they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Seeing that it was the doctor Charlie excused himself outside to allow Duffy some privacy.

Once outside he paced the corridor rubbing the back of his neck with his hand trying to process what had just happened between them. He hadn't meant for all of those things to come out but she'd pushed his buttons. She seemed to be an expert at doing that! He needed some fresh air so he headed out of the ward.

By the time he had returned to Duffy's room the doctor had finished and she was sat eating breakfast. He tapped lightly on the door as he entered. "Hi, I popped downstairs to speak to Collette, she sends her best wishes by the way, she's going to cover me for a couple of hours so I can take you upstairs to see the baby once you've finished eating."

"If you're sure you're not needed downstairs? I don't need a babysitter."

He sighed. "I know you don't but I want to come with you."

Duffy placed the last piece of toast in her mouth and twisted to climb out of the bed, having already put her dressing gown on before she began eating. "Right, let's go then." She announced, placing her hands on the bed to push herself up to standing.

"Hey, woah, slow down! We firstly need to let someone know you're going and secondly you're going to need a wheelchair."

Duffy rolled her eyes and scoffed. "I don't need a wheelchair, I'm perfectly fine!"

"You allow me to get you a wheelchair or we're not going Duffy." Charlie retorted.

"Fine!" She muttered.

Having let the senior nurse know that they were going to the NICU and found a wheelchair, Charlie re-entered her room and parked it by the bed. He locked the brakes and moved to help her into the chair.

Duffy glared at him and brushed his hands away. "I can do it myself!" She snapped at him.

Charlie sighed, rolling his eyes as he watched her wincing as she moved herself from the bed to the wheelchair but decided against arguing further with her.

The journey up to NICU took place in almost complete silence. Charlie presumed this was because Duffy was sulking with him over his insistence that she use a wheelchair despite the fact that she knew full well that he was simply adhering to hospital policy. They washed their hands and he wheeled her over to the incubator in the corner.

As soon as Duffy saw her baby she burst into tears. He looked so tiny and, despite dealing with medical equipment every day as part of her job, seeing it all surrounding her child frightened her. Charlie crouched down beside her and placed his arm around her shoulder, attempting to soothe her.

"This is all my fault!" She sobbed.

"Hey, these things happen. Look at him, he's doing OK. Don't beat yourself up."

Duffy looked over at him with an incredulous expression on her face. "You've changed your tune all of a sudden Charlie."

Charlie pulled a face at her and decided to change the subject in an attempt to lift her mood. "Why don't I see if you can have a cuddle with your little boy?"

Duffy's face immediately brightened. "I'd like that."

Charlie walked over to the nurse's station and chatted to the staff there for a few moments. He then returned carrying a couple of extra baby blankets. "They say we're OK to get him out. Just need to keep him wrapped up nice and warm."

"Can you get him out for me please?" She asked.

"Are you sure? The nurse said she could come over in a few minutes if we needed a hand."

"I'm sure, I want you to do it." She insisted.

Charlie opened the incubator and quickly wrapped the little boy up in the extra blankets, taking special care not to disturb any of the monitoring leads. The baby's eyes flickered open at the movement but he didn't cry. "Hey little fella, you've woken up just at the right time. I've brought along someone special with me this time." He lifted the child up and held him close as he turned towards Duffy. "Time to have a cuddle with your mummy." He told the little boy as he gently settled him into Duffy's waiting arms. He watched as a single tear ran down her cheek. Feeling like he was intruding, Charlie spoke again as he stood back up. "I'll step outside and let you two spend some time together." 

"No! Don't go. I want you to stay." She smiled as he pulled up a chair next to her. "You came here earlier." It wasn't a question. 

Charlie looked away. "I... Um... I know I should have waited. I'm sorry. I should have let you see him first but... I... Er... I needed to see with my own eyes that he was OK." 

Any annoyance she may have felt melted instantly at his words. She smiled indulgently and nudged him gently with her shoulder. She then looked down and addressed her son. "You'll get used to that sweetheart, he's forever checking up on me too."

"It's only because I care, Duffy. You don't make it very easy though." He grumbled.

Duffy flicked her eyes to look back up at Charlie. "I know you do." She whispered. "No I guess I don't, do I? You're persistent though, I'll give you that!" She chuckled. The baby began to squirm and fuss. She struggled to shift positions in an attempt to comfort him as, despite her protests to the contrary, she was still very sore and moving too much hurt considerably.

Seeing her struggle, Charlie reached over and gently stroked the child's cheek, making soft soothing noises as he did so. The little boy continued to cry for a few moments before settling. "He's got quite a set of lungs on him for such a tiny boy!" Charlie remarked.

"He does." She agreed quietly, unable to meet his gaze.

"Duffy... What is it?" He questioned, a sense of confusion and suspicion filling his thoughts.

"Nothing." She mumbled, turning her attention back to her son.

"I was expecting him to be small but he's even tinier than I thought he would be." Charlie commented, attempting to sound casual.

"Charlie please... Can you just drop it? I feel bad enough already about how small he is without you rubbing it in!"

"I'm sorry. It just came as a bit of a shock to me that's all." He attempted to push away his suspicions. "So does this handsome chap have a name yet?"

Duffy smiled. "Paul."

"That's a nice choice." He replied, attempting to cover his surprise at the name.

She saw straight through him however. "Charlie..."

Before either had chance to continue a doctor came over to them. "Ah, you must be this young man's mum and dad..." Charlie went to correct the doctor but he carried on speaking. "You'll be pleased to know that he's doing really well. The problem with 32 weekers is that it can go either way, you can never be quite sure at first. But his lungs are coping well and his temperature is beginning to stablise. That'll improve further as he starts to gain weight. To that end I'd like to start trying to give him some milk later this morning. We'll start with tube feeding until he's a little bit bigger and then we can progress him from there. I'll leave you to discuss how you want to procede as to breastfeeding or formula feeding and I'll be back later to chat further."

As the doctor walked off Charlie turned to Duffy, his face showing the shock that had built as the doctor had spoken to them. "Thirty two weeks?!" He whispered harshly, his mind lurching as he did the maths. "Oh my god! Duffy!"

"I can explain..." Her voice trembled as she looked down at Paul who had fallen asleep in her arms.

"The truth Duffy!"

She looked around agitated. "Not here Charlie, please!" She begged.

"You can't avoid this forever."

"Can we go somewhere else to talk?"

Charlie sighed. "Why don't we leave Paul in peace to sleep and we go back to your room to talk?"

Duffy nodded mutely. She kissed Paul lightly on the forehead and gestured to Charlie to take him and place him back in the incubator. She refused to meet Charlie's eye as she handed her son over.

As he took hold of the baby Charlie felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over him. He placed the boy down in the incubator and simply stared at him for several seconds before reaching out and gently stroking Paul's cheek. Charlie swallowed back the lump in his throat and turned to Duffy. "Right..." He cleared his throat. "Let's get you back to your room."

Once again the journey was conducted in complete silence but this time the atmosphere between them was far more tense and awkward. Neither could look at the other as they both contemplated the magnitude of the conversation that awaited them back in her room.

Once they arrived in her room Charlie closed the door behind them and stood near the foot of her bed as she awkwardly moved from the wheelchair to sit on top of the sheets. He began to pace, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, occasionally glancing over at her but not saying a word, just the odd sigh.

"Please let me explain. I didn't want to burden you with the same guilt that I have to carry..." She began, her voice filled with the tears that threatened to fall at any moment. "Its my fault Andrew is dead."

"What? I don't understand. It wasn't your fault, you didn't push him down those stairs!" Charlie replied, struggling to understand where she was going with this.

"He was only working in the department to try and salvage our marriage. It was falling apart but we tried to hold it together for the sake of the boys. He was trying but me, well, I did what I always did when he and I were having problems, I ran away to you."

"That night..."

She nodded. "And after that, well, we had to stay together. Even though he knew what I'd done, what we'd done. Why do you think he was so keen that I..?" Her voice choked, she couldn't say the words.

"You said he didn't want the baby."

"We both knew it was the final blow. That I had to choose - my marriage or the baby. But I couldn't risk... Not when... I'd never forgive myself. Then later on when I knew for sure, everyone found out before I had chance to think."

"Why didn't you say anything at the time? I would have been there for you."

"You were in Canada when I found out. I planned to say something when you came back home but then you told me about Baz wanting a divorce. I couldn't tell you then, you were stressed enough already. I feared you'd get sick again, I couldn't risk that. Then when you fought to get custody of Louis, if Baz had found out about us she would have crucified you with it, stopped you from ever seeing Louis again. I couldn't be responsible for that!"

"That wasn't your responsibility to take on Duffy."

"I needed to protect you from being drawn into the problems I'd created..."

"We'd created, Duffy, we! Stop trying to take all this on your shoulders alone. You're not by yourself in this! I want to be there for you, I just wish you'd let me."

"I had my reasons Charlie. I was trying to protect you. To protect the boys."

"To protect yourself you mean! All this time you were lying to me. I could see that Andrew wasn't stepping up as he should. Now I understand why." He rubbed his hands over his face. "I... I just can't... I need time to get my head straight. I'll see you later."

Without waiting for her to reply he turned and walked out the room. He wandered in a haze for several minutes, eventually finding himself stood outside the a+e department entrance. He sighed and lent back against the wall, his mind racing. He was a dad again! Though the suspicion had been there for some time, facing the reality of it was something quite different.

"Oh am I pleased to see you mate!" Josh exclaimed.

"Huh?" Charlie turned and saw his friend suddenly by his side. He'd not even heard him approaching. "What the bloody hell happened to your face?" He asked, seeing the cut on Josh's forehead.

"Ambulance crashed last night. You must be the only person in the department who doesn't know about it. Where have you been?"

"Are you OK?"

Josh shrugged and pulled a face.

"Well that certainly explains the delays with ambulances when I rang them last night." Seeing Josh's confused face he explained. "Duffy had the baby."

"Bloody hell! I thought she wasn't due for a few more weeks yet. Is she OK? How's the baby?"

"Yeh, well, she had us all fooled." Charlie remarked bitterly.

"Charlie?!" Josh exclaimed, shocked at his friend's tone.

"It's nothing. Ignore me." He cleared his throat. "She's doing OK given everything. She had another little boy, he's in NICU but the doctors are positive he'll pull through without any long term issues which is frankly amazing."

"Well, that's good news. How come he's in NICU? Were there complications?" 

Charlie sighed. "Just a few. She gave birth at home..." 

"Because of the ambulance delays?" Josh asked, feeling terrible. 

"No she wouldn't let me call an ambulance at that point." 

"No ambulance? Then who delivered the baby?" He glanced at Charlie who merely shot him a look. "Shit! Really? By yourself? With no equipment?" 

"I wish I could say that was the worst of it Josh." 

"Well, yeh, I imagine a few of your illusions got shattered as a result!"

"That wasn't exactly at the front of my mind when she was crying and screaming at me to help!" Charlie shot back. He took a breath to try and calm himself. "Paul wasn't breathing when he was born. I had..." He choked. "I had to resuscitate him Josh!"

Josh reached out and put his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Bloody hell mate! It was lucky you were there. Collette's been so worried that all the stress Duffy has been under recently would cause something like this to happen."

Charlie shot Josh a look but decided that was a topic to be followed up another day. "Even after that I still had to fight with her to get them to the hospital. I swear she is the most stubborn person I've ever met! Why does she always insist on trying to do everything by herself? Why won't she let me in?"

"Charlie..." Josh began.

"It doesn't seem to even register with her that she and Paul could have died last night! She's still angry with me for bringing them here. She refused to go! Of all the dumb, crazy, insane things to do, I thought she had more sense than that..."

"Her husband was murdered only a few short weeks ago, right over there! She's facing bringing up three young kids on her own. She can be forgiven for digging her heels in over coming back here."

"She was 32 weeks pregnant Josh!"

"32 weeks? But I thought she was further along than that." Josh replied, shocked at the revelation. 

"So did I, mate, so did I!" Charlie replied bitterly.

"So she got her dates mixed up. It happens sometimes." 

"Yeh, it 'just happens'!" Charlie repeated sarcastically. 

"It must have come as quite a shock. To both of you." 

"She knew I was coming round!" Charlie suddenly blurted out. 

"What?" Josh asked, confused. 

"She called me, asked me to come over. She knew! She bloody knew all along!" 

"Knew what mate?" 

"She knew that the baby was coming and she wanted me there. Me. No-one else, not even her mum!"

"Um..." 

"She didn't even call her midwife Josh."

"That's insane!" 

"I mean, I know I'm a nurse but I'm not a bloody midwife!"

"That's true but maybe she thought..."

"Oh yeh, she'd thought the whole thing through alright!"

"Seriously, Charlie, what the hell has got you so rattled?"

"She lied Josh! To me, to everyone!"

"What the heck are you on about? I've delivered plenty of babies whose mums have gotten a bit mixed up with their dates. They didn't do it on purpose."

"She didn't get mixed up though. She knew exactly when and where that baby was conceived..."

"Well, obviously!" Josh laughed awkwardly.

"...and with whom." Charlie finished.

"What? The baby was Andrew's surely?"

Charlie shook his head.

Josh stared at him in total shock at the revelation. "Then who?"

"They'd had a fight, she was really upset. We got drunk... Too drunk... We didn't think... I didn't consider... I guess I just assumed... And now..."

"And now its 32 weeks later and... Oh bloody hell Charlie!"

"Yeh..." Charlie replied as he ran his hand across his face.

"The baby's yours?"

"Yeh he is."

"So what the hell are you going to do now?"

Charlie closed his eyes and massaged his temples. "I... I want the chance to... I've missed out on so much with Louis. I don't want that to happen again. But... I've screwed up..." He sighed.

"I think it's about time you told her the truth about how you really feel." Josh suggested gently.

"I can't! Her husband just died. She and the boys are grieving. It's not the right time to tell her."

"When will be the right time then? She just gave birth to your baby! You say you don't want to miss out yet you're refusing to tell her how you really feel. I know you're scared but it's the only way you have any chance of moving forward with this."

Charlie sighed. He knew that Josh was right, he had to tell her the truth. He owed her that at the very least. Especially given how angry he'd been at her for lying. But they'd been dancing around this issue for nearly 20 years. Several times over that period they'd stumbled across the line, usually when alcohol or emotions were flowing too freely but they'd always managed to salvage the situation before it caused too much damage. Until this time, this time they'd gone too far. An innocent child had now been thrown into the chaos. Charlie hung his head, shaking it slowly.

"Go speak to her." Josh encouraged, placing his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "You love her, you'll find a way to make it right."

Charlie looked over at Josh and squeezed his shoulder, giving him a grateful smile.

Josh nodded and patted his friend's shoulder. "Call me when you get a chance."

Charlie nodded and began walking back towards the main building. His nerves grew as he walked towards her room. He stood briefly frozen outside, staring at the partially open door. He drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly and walked through the doorway, knocking on the door as he passed. "Hi, how you feeling?" He asked nervously.

Duffy briefly glanced up from the magazine she was reading. "Fine." She mumbled before going back to reading.

He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. "Can we talk? Please."

"Mmm." She replied without looking up from the magazine.

Charlie walked over to her and gently removed the magazine from her lap. She looked up briefly and glared at him before returning her gaze to her lap as she sat fiddling with her fingers.

"We need to talk properly Duffy."

Her head snapped up. "Oh so now you want to talk, do you? Well maybe I don't!"

Charlie briefly closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have walked out earlier but my head was spinning, I needed time to process it all. Did you think I wasn't coming back?"

"I didn't know what to think. I didn't do any of this to hurt you Charlie. I never wanted anyone to get hurt..."

"But someone was always going to get hurt regardless of how hard we tried to prevent it." Charlie said, finishing her thoughts. He sat down on the bed beside her. "You've had a chance to explain, now will you give me the same opportunity?" He saw her nod so he continued. "I was shocked when you told me Paul was mine but, well, I'd been suspicious for a while. When you first told me you were pregnant I thought maybe... But you were so upset and stressed about it that I pushed the idea from my mind. Then as the weeks passed and your belly grew bigger I watched as Andrew continued to behave so terribly. I couldn't understand it, he had everything I'd ever wanted - you, a baby on the way - and yet he treated you so poorly. I wanted so desperately to be there for you, to hold you, to show you how much I cared. Especially when..." He closed his eyes and shook his head to try and push away the horrific images and memories. "I froze, I couldn't help you. I wanted to but the sight of you terrified and in such pain, I couldn't handle it." He put his head in his hands.

Duffy's heart broke seeing him so upset. She attempted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but her movements were slowed by her sore and aching muscles. "Charlie..."

As he saw her begin to move towards him he got up from the bed. He knew that if he allowed her close then he would lose control completely and be unable to speak. He needed to tell her everything so he had to keep some distance between them. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. He began to pace, his hand moving to the back of his neck as he tried to find the words. "After that Andrew suddenly seemed to start treating you better, like a husband should treat his pregnant wife. I thought maybe it had given him a wake up call. But something didn't add up. You seemed uncomfortable with his attention. I couldn't understand why. Then that family started fighting in the cubicles, I panicked that they'd hurt you. Andrew seemed to just walk away, implying that I should step up. It made no sense at the time but now I realise - he knew didn't he?"

"I never told him outright but I'm sure he suspected. When he started being so sweet towards me, fussing over me like he had when I was pregnant with Jake... The guilt. I couldn't handle it."

Charlie sighed. "How did things end up in such a mess? How did we let things get so out of hand?"

"I think we both know the answer to that Charlie."

He looked over at her incredulously. "You think this is just some physical thing? That we simply can't resist the sexual attraction between us? Well you're wrong, Duffy, I love you! I always have, that's what makes all of this so painful and confusing."

Her heart leapt and her head spun as she attempted to absorb what he'd just confessed. He loved her! The one thing she'd always wanted - his love - was within her grasp. Her stomach lurched as she attempted to articulate the words to explain her feelings for him, feelings she had attempted to bury for so long, determined to allow herself to only experience the physical sensations when they were together for fear of having her heart smashed if he didn't feel the same. But he did. He loved her just like she loved him. The thought overwhelmed her and she began to cry.

As he saw the tears roll down her cheeks Charlie could stay away no longer. He was quickly at her side and took her gently in his arms, stroking her hair as he attempted to soothe her.

"I love you too Charlie." She whispered. "I just couldn't tell you incase... incase you didn't feel the same way."

Charlie moved his hands to gently cup her face, tilting it so she was looking directly at him. He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. "I'll always be here for you, just like I promised. You and the boys. I can give you all the time and space you need to work things out. All I ask is please don't shut me out, talk to me, let me help where I can."

Duffy reached up a hand towards his cheek. "I don't want space. I want you by my side but... The boys. I have to think of them. They're still dealing with losing their father. If they found out what I... What we have done, it would destroy them. I'm sorry!"

"I understand. Believe me I do. They come first and that's how it should be. We can take things one small step at a time. That's ok, we've got all the time in the world."

"We do. We really do." She paused, at a loss as to what else to say.

Charlie took hold of her hand, his fingers nervously playing with hers. "I'd really like to go see Paul again." He bit his lip and glanced up at her quickly. "Is that OK?"

Duffy smiled. "You don't have to ask, Charlie."

This time when they made their way up to the NICU department the atmosphere was different, more relaxed than the previous visit. They approached Paul's incubator and Duffy quietly watched the range of emotions that flowed across Charlie's face as he observed his son. She nudged his side gently and nodded incouragingly towards the cot when he turned to look at her.

Charlie stepped forward and reached out a finger to stroke Paul's cheek and down his arm. As he reached the boy's hand he felt Paul's tiny fingers wrap around his fingertip. Charlie gasped at the rush of emotions the action triggered within him, a single tear escaping down his cheek. "I... Do you think he knows who I am?" He whispered.

Duffy reached over and squeezed Charlie's arm. "Of course he does."

Charlie shifted his hands to lift the boy up into his arms but unlike the previous time instead of handing Paul straight to Duffy he held the boy close to him as he sat down in a chair. He lay Paul against his chest. Looking down he chuckled.

"What is it?" Duffy queried confused.

"He's just like you." Charlie smiled, indicating the way that Paul had shifted slightly to rest his cheek against Charlie's heart. "That seems to be your favourite spot too. Looks like you'll have to learn to share!"

Duffy smiled and rested her head against Charlie's shoulder, her fingers absentmindedly stroking Paul's head.

Charlie tilted his head and lightly kissed Duffy's hair. His gaze flickered between her and Paul. It was all he'd ever wanted. "Whatever it takes, I want this to work. For you, me and the boys to be a family." He whispered, biting his lip to try and contain his emotions. 

Duffy smiled softly, her heart melting at his words and the sincerity in his eyes. "We'll find a way." She stated adamantly before sighing. "It will take time and I can't promise it'll be easy but we'll get there in the end. It's our time now."

"Our time." He echoed as he kissed her.


End file.
